Job Seeker, Beware!

IMG_3630.JPGBe careful
Guys be aware of scammers…. they will email you saying they read your resume and will like to conduct a online interview, they won’t ask you for your social or anything relating to money, however don’t trust it….they will say you got the jobject then continue to ask more questions like where you live, how many hours can you work for, etc…after this they will tell you that they will send a check for you to buy softwares from their source or etc, I received a check 2 days after from ups….the check had $2900.55 on it and I was shocked but at the same time suspicious. So I asked my mom ifor it was real and he said it looked and felt real, everything seemed legit….however I was still suspicious so I went online to look up the company that sent the check, looking at the check I realized that the company was called Ronald L Book but on the check it had Ronald Book ……. so of course I searched for a number to call the place and when I did it was quite evident the company had no idea who I was, what check I was talking about and who was Mr. ROBERT…realizing it was a scam I did some further research to try and understand why would they send me a fake check….to my understanding you can get charged for depositing a fake check or have your account frozen, they can have you deposit the check and then obtain all your info and take all your money from your account, I was lucky and I hope you guys read this in time..also when it comeshe to online interview ensure its a video call, ask them for a tour around the work area and call other places to ensure that the person does work there and etc because online interview do happens but now it’s a bit more risky to believe anyone or anything

98 personal data points that Facebook uses to target ads to you

 By Caitlin Dewey August 19, 2016

Say you’re scrolling through your Facebook Newsfeed and you encounter an ad so eerily well-suited, it seems someone has possibly read your brain.

Maybe your mother’s birthday is coming up, and Facebook’s showing ads for her local florist. Or maybe you just made a joke aloud about wanting a Jeep, and Instagram’s promoting Chrysler dealerships.

Whatever the subject, you’ve seen ads like this. You’ve wondered — maybe worried — how they found their way to you.

Facebook, in its omniscience, knows that you’re wondering — and it would like to reassure you. The social network just revamped its ad preference settings to make them significantly easier for users to understand. They’ve also launched a new ad education portal, which explains, in general terms, how Facebook targets ads.

“We want the ads people see on Facebook to be interesting, useful and relevant,” a Facebook spokesperson said.

Sister letave1

But it remains to be seen whether users are pleased or frightened by the new information they suddenly have.

Targeting options for Facebook advertisers*
1. Location
2. Age
3. Generation
4. Gender
5. Language
6. Education level
7. Field of study
8. School
9. Ethnic affinity
10. Income and net worth
11. Home ownership and type
12. Home value
13. Property size
14. Square footage of home
15. Year home was built
16. Household composition

*Not even conclusive!

As explained on that shiny new portal, Facebook keeps ads “useful and relevant” in four distinct ways. It tracks your on-site activity, such as the pages you like and the ads you click, and your device and location settings, such as the brand of phone you use and your type of Internet connection. Most users recognize these things impact ad targeting: Facebook has repeatedly said as much. But slightly more surprising is the extent of Facebook’s web-tracking efforts and its collaborations with major data brokers.

dolten apol

While you’re logged onto Facebook, for instance, the network can see virtually every other website you visit. Even when you’re logged off, Facebook knows much of your browsing: It’s alerted every time you load a page with a “Like” or “share” button, or an advertisement sourced from its Atlas network. Facebook also provides publishers with a piece of code, called Facebook Pixel, that they (and by extension, Facebook) can use to log their Facebook-using visitors.

17. Users who have an anniversary within 30 days
18. Users who are away from family or hometown
19. Users who are friends with someone who has an anniversary, is newly married or engaged, recently moved, or has an upcoming birthday
20. Users in long-distance relationships
21. Users in new relationships
22. Users who have new jobs
23. Users who are newly engaged
24. Users who are newly married
25. Users who have recently moved
26. Users who have birthdays soon
27. Parents
28. Expectant parents
29. Mothers, divided by “type” (soccer, trendy, etc.)
30. Users who are likely to engage in politics
31. Conservatives and liberals
32. Relationship status

On top of that, Facebook offers marketers the option to target ads according to data compiled by firms like Experian, Acxiom and Epsilon, which have historically fueled mailing lists and other sorts of offline efforts. These firms build their profiles over a period of years, gathering data from government and public records, consumer contests, warranties and surveys, and private commercial sources — like loyalty card purchase histories or magazine subscription lists. Whatever they gather from those searches can also be fed into a model to draw further conclusions, like whether you’re likely to be an investor or buy organic for your kids.

When combined with the information you’ve already given Facebook, through your profile and your clicks, you end up with what is arguably the most complete consumer profile on earth: a snapshot not only of your Facebook activity, but your behaviors elsewhere in the online (and offline!) worlds.

33. Employer
34. Industry
35. Job title
36. Office type
37. Interests
38. Users who own motorcycles
39. Users who plan to buy a car (and what kind/brand of car, and how soon)
40. Users who bought auto parts or accessories recently
41. Users who are likely to need auto parts or services
42. Style and brand of car you drive
43. Year car was bought
44. Age of car
45. How much money user is likely to spend on next car
46. Where user is likely to buy next car
47. How many employees your company has
48. Users who own small businesses
49. Users who work in management or are executives

These snapshots are frequently incomplete and flawed, we should note — after all, they rely on lots of assumptions. But generally speaking, they’re good enough to have made Facebook an advertising giant. In the second quarter of 2016, the company made $6.4 billion in advertising, a number that’s up 63 percent from the year before. And now, Facebook ads aren’t only on and its acquired apps — they also populate an external Audience Network.

“Speaking as both a consumer and as an advertiser, I think that Facebook’s ad capabilities make internet advertising a better experience overall,” said Kane Jamison, a Seattle-based marketer who has written about his experience with Facebook ads. “The majority of promoted topics that I see in my Facebook feed are relevant to my interests, and they’re worth clicking on more often.”

Not everyone is quite so convinced that Facebook’s targeting methods are benevolent, though. Peter Eckersley, the chief computer scientist at the Electronic Frontier Foundation, calls them “the most invasive in the world.”

Yes, he acknowledges, many companies use data brokers to make direct-mail lists, and almost every website utilizes some kind of tracker or cookies — but no company on earth, save Facebook, bundles all that information.

50. Users who have donated to charity (divided by type)
51. Operating system
52. Users who play canvas games
53. Users who own a gaming console
54. Users who have created a Facebook event
55. Users who have used Facebook Payments
56. Users who have spent more than average on Facebook Payments
57. Users who administer a Facebook page
58. Users who have recently uploaded photos to Facebook
59. Internet browser
60. Email service
61. Early/late adopters of technology
62. Expats (divided by what country they are from originally)
63. Users who belong to a credit union, national bank or regional bank
64. Users who investor (divided by investment type)
65. Number of credit lines

Take the example of the ad for your mother’s local florist: that might have been targeted to women from your hometown (which you’ve told Facebook) whose mothers’ birthdays are coming up (that’s in your Facebook calendar), who live away from family (based on off-site activity) and who have a high estimated income (according to Acxiom).

Or the mystery of the spoken Jeep joke and displayed the car ad — an adjacency that actually happened on local Florida TV, convincing one newscaster that Facebook “eavesdropped” on her. Facebook actually sources data from IHS Automotive, an industry intelligence firm used widely by dealers, banks and financial analysts, and doesn’t need eavesdropping to know that your car’s 10 years old and you might be back in the auto market.

“Facebook’s business model is to amass as much first-party and third-party data on you as possible, and slowly dole out access to it,” Eckersley said. “If you’re using Facebook, you’re entrusting the company with records of everything you do. I think people have reason to be concerned about that.”

66. Users who are active credit card users
67. Credit card type
68. Users who have a debit card
69. Users who carry a balance on their credit card
70. Users who listen to the radio
71. Preference in TV shows
72. Users who use a mobile device (divided by what brand they use)
73. Internet connection type
74. Users who recently acquired a smartphone or tablet
75. Users who access the Internet through a smartphone or tablet
76. Users who use coupons
77. Types of clothing user’s household buys
78. Time of year user’s household shops most
79. Users who are “heavy” buyers of beer, wine or spirits
80. Users who buy groceries (and what kinds)
81. Users who buy beauty products
82. Users who buy allergy medications, cough/cold medications, pain relief products, and over-the-counter meds

Eckersley’s main concern is how much consumers know about all this tracking — and how much they’re able to opt out of it. Facebook says it’s been transparent on both counts, and that the revamped ad preferences dashboard, as well as the long-standing “Why Am I Seeing This Ad?’ dropdown, is only the latest proof that it’s dedicated to user privacy.

But while both the dashboard and the dropdown will rid you of ads you don’t like, neither actually lets users opt out completely of any of Facebook’s four tracking methods. The preferences manager, for instance, lets users tell Facebook they don’t have certain interests that the site has associated with them or their behavior, but there’s no way to tell Facebook that you don’t want it to track your interests, at all.

Likewise, Facebook allows users to opt-out of advertisements based on their use of outside websites and apps. But that doesn’t mean that Facebook never tracks those people when they’re on other sites, Eckersley said: It just limits some of its more all-seeing methods. And while Facebook did push its data-broker partners to adopt better privacy measures when it began working with them in 2013, each broker still requires you to file an opt-out request with them individually.

83. Users who spend money on household products
84. Users who spend money on products for kids or pets, and what kinds of pets
85. Users whose household makes more purchases than is average
86. Users who tend to shop online (or off)
87. Types of restaurants user eats at
88. Kinds of stores user shops at
89. Users who are “receptive” to offers from companies offering online auto insurance, higher education or mortgages, and prepaid debit cards/satellite TV
90. Length of time user has lived in house
91. Users who are likely to move soon
92. Users who are interested in the Olympics, fall football, cricket or Ramadan
93. Users who travel frequently, for work or pleasure
94. Users who commute to work
95. Types of vacations user tends to go on
96. Users who recently returned from a trip
97. Users who recently used a travel app
98. Users who participate in a timeshare

There is another option, of course: If Facebook tracking freaks you out, simply don’t use it. There are people who want targeted, “relevant” ads — and there are others, like Eckersley, who can’t stomach it.

But wait, what was that? Eckersley has Facebook? Surely hell just froze over.

“It’s the paradox of modern life,” he laughed, adding that he needs the site to keep in touch with friends and family. “We’re strongly incentivized, by the culture around us, to use this technology. It’s incredibly useful — and an incredibly giant structural problem for our privacy.”

What infections can I catch through oral sex?


Oral sex is the stimulation of the genitals using the mouth and tongue. It is one of the ways that sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are most frequently passed on.

You can catch an STI if you have just one sexual partner. However, the more partners you have, the greater the risk of catching an infection.

STIs that are commonly caught through oral sex are:

Infections that are less frequently passed on through oral sex include:

Symptoms of STIs

The symptoms of an STI vary, depending on the type of infection. However, most STIs are treatable if detected early enough. If you think you may have an infection, it is important to visit your local family planning clinic or genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinic as soon as possible.

Find your nearest sexual health service.

If left untreated, STIs are not only uncomfortable and embarrassing, but they can seriously affect your health and fertility.

Preventing STIs

You can prevent catching STIs during oral sex by making sure that you or your partner wear a condom.

You can use a dental dam to cover the anus or female genitals during oral sex. A dental dam is a latex or polyurethane (very thin, soft plastic) square, of about 15cm by 15cm. It acts as a barrier to help prevent STIs passing from one person to another.

Read the answers to more questions about sexual health.

Further information:


The latest News from the Queens of Afrika and African People of Lo

BY: NISHA THOMAS Rapper Nelly openly spoke on Tom Brady and the recent controversy of several NFL players not wanting to go to the White House to meet President Donald Trump. Is he right? Comment…

Read More →



BY: NISHA THOMAS When you’d thought that you seen it all and then you realize that you haven’t seen anything! Meet Maurice Johnson, a 55-year-old homeless man with two Masters Degrees. He has told his story…

Read More →

BY: NISHA THOMAS Do you think that hip-hop artists love white America more than black America? Dr. Boyce Watkins asks this question because it seems that we are witnessing more and more of our black…

Read More →

Has The NAACP Sold Out For White Dollars?

February 13, 2017 | 0 Comments

BY: NISHA THOMAS Has the NAACP sold out for the liking of white dollars? According to Dr. Boyce Watkins, they just may have sold out in a major way, considering who they are connected to…

Read More →

This is one of those situations where black people are probably going to be mixed in their reaction.  According to, Frank Ancona’s body was found this weekend after he went missing from his home…

Read More →



BY: NISHA THOMAS So, what are your thoughts on the n-word? Do you think it has a nice ring to it? Is it the same as calling a journalist a fake news reporter? Check out…

Read More →

7 Mindsets That Hinder Black Men From Relationship Success


black men and relationships

by: Ingram Jones

Earlier my wife, Atiya, discussed the “Five Mindsets That Hinder Black Women From Relationship Success.” She was right on the money and as a Black man; I have encountered many of those mindsets. Consequently, for me I wasn’t willing to accept them and therefore, I made the choice to date women who were not plagued by those issues. Often I chose women who were not Black.

While I have had my share of the world’s Diaspora of women, from India to Europe, what I found was that all women have issues as do men, and some can actually be far greater than what Black women appear to have. The bottom line is that many Black men can highlight these issues and send the article my wife wrote to many women to “help them see the light.” However, I will boldly say to brothers, issues that permeate the Black community no matter where we are in the world, are problems that not only lie with the Back woman. In fact brothers, we are a major part of the problem.

From the many white, French women, and Indian women that have shared my space and sometimes my bed, when it boiled down to it, I knew in my heart that I was only going to marry a Black woman. I had a fundamental belief and still do that no other type of woman can identify with my needs, my desires, and my struggles as a Black man like a Black woman. I had to stop playing and get about the business of manning up! I had to admit I was part of the problem and thus went to work to change myself for the better and was blessed to meet a beautiful Black woman, who yes struggles or have struggled with some of those same mindsets but me stepping up to the plate to be the man I should be helps to balance out those perceived “issues.” In many cases those “issues” or “mindsets” that we men see are only a manifestation of where we fail as fathers, as sons and as husbands.

I affirm that all Black men have the ability to provide for her, protect her, and profess and communicate with her on a level that is mature and balanced. However, the question becomes, “Is he willing to do so?”

As a Black man born and reared in London, United Kingdom, I may not identify directly with the woes of Black American men and women, but I do know that as a Black man my situation in London is not so different than a Black man’s situation in America. So when I sought out relationship success, borders didn’t really matter. All I knew was that I was not interested in perpetuating the generational oppression and suppression and I was interested in connecting on a much higher and deeper level with a woman who not only respected me, but one that I could also be proud to honor and respect as a man.

I had to realize that my relationship failures had very little to do with the women I was entertaining, but everything to do with me. So brothers out there who are hell bent on pointing out the “Five Mindsets that Hinder Black Women from Relationship Success,” let me give you one up on that. We can point the finger all day long, but until we put some things in check ourselves, we too will be burdened with mindsets and behaviors that hinder us from having success in our relationships. We will never be satisfied as men with just one woman because we won’t see her for who she really is. As many men have held the magnifying glass up to women, ask yourself the question, “Do I have some mindsets that may be hindering me from relationship success?”

Check it out. Do you fit into any of the following categories?

Seven Mindsets that Hinder Black Men From Relationship Success

1. Resentful Reggie

Resentful Reggie helps to give rise to a Bitter Barbara. Neither mindset is any different than the other. Both are disenfranchised and have been deeply hurt by their counterpart and consequently blame the other for their pain. Resentful Reggie is still holding a grudge from his first love that broke his heart and just won’t let it go to even give another woman a chance with his heart. He’s like a librarian who can give you the rundown of all his previous relationships.

What is interesting is that although Resentful Reggie is extremely resentful, you often hear him ranting and raving about how fantastic his ex was to his current love interest, who somehow just can’t seem to measure up to his former love. Any smart woman would ask, “If she was so great, why aren’t you still with her?” Every woman wants to be the apple of her man’s eye. Therefore, many are quick to run from Resentful Reggie in hopes of being the main squeeze in someone else’s juice.

2. Important Ichabod

Important Ichabod doesn’t need a woman in his life to help him meet anything. He is financially stable, drives a nice car, can buy anything he wants including people to cater to his every waking fancy. He can woo a woman’s knickers right off of her in broad daylight. His sidekick Busy Bruce is like an alter ego, making sure every moment of his time is caught up in making more money and buying more people for his collection of return favors.

Important Ichabod, in a day can go from one city to the next, close the deal, find the time to impress a woman with his “money talks and everything else walks” mannerism, have a drink and a quickie with an almost stranger then catch the next flight out back to his high-rise condo in the heart of any major city. Important Ichabod has the attitude that women are dispensable and like cars, jewelry, and employees can be replaced when they cease to perform effectively. What Important Ichabod fails to realize is that people are not things and no matter how much he can brag to his colleagues about how much money he spent on lunch or how many women he’s “tapped,” good women desire men of substance and not superficial and arrogant pricks who probably don’t even like women anyway.

3. Baggage Brian

Baggage Brian is always trying to drop his bags at somebody else’s doorstep. As a matter of record he is responsible for the bag lady that Ms. Badu sings about. Baggage Brian has baby’s mamas and mamas’ dramas. Wherever he treads, you can smell the stench of the hood rat, who just can let it go.

“Niggas take off runnin from you it’s true oh yes they do.” Those are the words of Ms. Badu that rings true. Baggage Brian attracts women with issues and preys on those who are vulnerable. He’s a Slick Rick, a Hustling Harry, and a Trifling Troy. He doesn’t turn up on time, doesn’t return your calls, and always trying to make a quick quid. He’s what they call a day late and a dollar short and never has time for a serious relationship because he is too busy running from his responsibility. He gives Black men a bad name.

No one wants a Ghetto Gregory but a Hoodrat Henrietta; and all those different bags that Baggage Brian is bringing, please, a real Black woman who is on the ball will tell Baggage Brian to bounce. A serious woman is coming for real, and she ain’t tryin’ to deal with his Sh*#! A real Black woman is going to tell Baggage Brian, he better “call Tyrone.”

4. Mommy’s Melvin

Mommy’s Melvin is mama’s baby and daddy’s maybe. He cannot even get into a meaningful relationship because he hasn’t found the balls to cut the apron strings with his mama. He’s a big grown-ass man and his mama is still buying his boxer shorts, cooking his meals, and washing his clothes. Hell mama’s even going to the club with him. No woman can even get close enough because his mother doesn’t want to lose her little boy to another woman; and when you have to turn and say, “Oh no, that’s my mother,” that’s when you know you’re too close.

Now, it is one thing to have a good relationship with mum because how you treat yours is an indication of how you will treat “your” woman. I am not suggesting that every man in the world has a wonderful mother because that is not the case, but the ability to look beyond her flaws and still treat her with respect is a key attribute to any man looking or desiring a successful relationship. But come on brothers, some of you who know you struggle with the mindset of a Mommy’s Melvin know that you have been mothered too damn long. Let the truth be told, if a real woman came your way, would you even know what to do?

5. Fielding Freddie

Fielding Freddy has a personality for every woman he creeps with. No matter what names he gives the damsel in distress, he is still Fielding Freddie and a Cheating Charlie. Plain and simply put he’s a dog. Fielding Freddie has no control of his animalistic side, and feels the need to share his manhood with every female that he sees. For him, every woman is an opportunity because he is thrill seeking rather than soul seeking.

Fielding Freddie doesn’t appreciate a good woman, and when he sees one instead of recognizing his mother, daughter, or wife, he sees a stripper, a hooker, a gold digger or diva. He has the position that all women have nasty attitudes, are manipulative, and can’t be trusted. When he does meet a woman with good ole fashioned “Christian values,” who wants to save herself for marriage, he works to tarnish her in order to fit her into the “all women are the same” mold he has been conditioned to believe.

What Fielding Freddie doesn’t get is that he is enslaved by faulty reasoning and has bought into the hype of what the media, entertainment, and music industry has put out. Consequently, he is part of the problem rather than the solution. A real woman wants a man who is willing and able to commit, and not some foolish little boy still trying to play peek-a-boo games with his Peter Paul pecking Patty, Paula and Pearl.

6. Dumb Darnell

Dumb Darnell lacks the knowledge of himself. He enters a relationship before discovering what he likes or dislikes, therefore becomes a great candidate for making out with Demanding Deena. He is led to believe that he owes her something and he might as well put on her skirt because what he is really acting like is a a p#*!!y. No woman wants a weak man. He knows he is not in the right relationship, but denies himself the happiness he deserves because he is too afraid to man up and wear the “draws.”

What Dumb Darnell don’t understand is that he may very well have a good woman, but because he is not stepping up to the plate, she is forced to make it happen because he is too afraid to move and do something about it. So Dumb Darnell creates a Demanding Deena by not being the man that he is capable of being. To get away from the noise, he leaves her carrying the load, hooks up with Wannabe Willie who doesn’t have a woman, and gets influenced to go out and kick it in the club.

Dumb Darnell ends up in a situation trying to make a single mindset fit into a committed relationship; and because he has no backbone to make decisions, ends up juggling Demanding Deena and Stressful Stephanie.

7. Preaching Paul

Preaching Paul is stiff; he’s rigid and like Righteous Rhonda can quote the scripture from Genesis to Revelation. However he can’t keep a good woman because what comes out after a while is that he is a male chauvinist pig and disillusioned by his belief of being the Alpha and Omega. The only relationship he may successfully have is the one with his right or left hand. Even then, he won’t because his religious dogma teaches him it’s bad.

Preaching Paul spends so much of his time preaching to others that he fails to see the speck in his own eye. He believes every woman is Eve and must totally submit herself to him to avoid eternal damnation. He has no concept of love and compassion. This brother must love to hear himself talk, because that’s all he does is talk. Black women run from Preaching Paul because of their fear of purgatory.

Brothers we have just as many issues as Black women; and it is usually our issues that begets theirs. If we do our part and what we should do as men, then you just might find that the mindsets some Black women have are very easy to change when we work to change ours.

5 Mindsets That Hinder Black Women From Relationship Success


What black women desire, but are not getting from men.

A Black woman who desires to be connected with a Black man intimately deserves to be connected to one who has the ability to provide for her, protect her, and profess and communicate with her on a level that is mature and balanced.


True enough, there are several disparities in society in terms of Blacks that exist which are well documented. While arguments may arise in terms of how those dissimilarities came to be, any arguments surrounding the existence of the disparities can be quieted with bona-fide truth and actual facts. Consequently, both Black men and Black women perhaps may be well justified in being “angry” about the condition and state of the Black community. However, how that anger is channeled is key. Turning on one another is not the answer. To do so, not only perpetuates the generational oppression and suppression from both external and internal forces, it also hinders Black men and Black women from coming together intimately on a more profound level for the betterment of the Black community and the world community as a whole.


The biggest enemy to the relationship dynamic in the Black community is the lack of respect and honor of one another as Black men and Black women. No matter how messed up either may be, to say either is damaged beyond repair is further perpetuation of a conditioning process which stems back to the plantation literally and figuratively. Whether you believe slavery actually existed or not is irrelevant here. What we are discussing is certain mindsets that need to be uprooted in order for Black men and women to relate effectively. While it is true that Blacks cannot continue to blame others for the condition in the Black community and thus must take responsibility for its state, a logical person however would understand that there are certain principles and dynamics which becomes extremely relevant when discussing the science of mating – or as some may call it, “dating.”


So what I want to do here is shed some light on the reasons as to why some Black women may be involuntarily single when they would otherwise prefer to be in a healthy relationship with their Black counterpart or why some go from relationship to relationship not finding “the one.”


After reading this, if you are not in a relationship but desire to be in one or you have found yourself moving from man to man, you might want to ask yourself, “Do I hold any of these mindsets?” If you see some personal similarities with one or more of these attitudes, then you are becoming conscious enough to know that perhaps the problem does not rest solely on the shoulders of Black men.

Five Mindsets that Hinder Black Women From Relationship Success


1. Bitter Barbara

Bitter Barbara makes many outward attempts at femininity, yet is hard to the core. She is disenfranchised and has been deeply hurt by a man and consequently blames all men for her pain. She has not been able to rationally separate the “baby from the bathwater,” therefore throws both out. Bitter Barbara perhaps may have had many “good” Black men come in and out of her life, but she couldn’t see past her pain. When it comes to “love and marriage and the baby carriage,” not too many Black men are interested in a woman who is just plain bitter, and would assume deal with a white woman. Unfortunately this makes Bitter Barbara even more bitter.

2. Independent Ilene

Independent Ilene doesn’t need a man to take care of her. She has her own house, her own car, a decent to high paying job, can move the refrigerator and furniture or pay someone to do it for her. Independent Ilene can “bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan” and really only needs a male to help her “get her rocks off” and then again she doesn’t even need a male for that because she has her battery operated man replacement in the drawer. Independent Ilene has the attitude that Black men are intimidated by “strong Black women.” Yet, she doesn’t get that an authentic “strong Black woman” recognizes that first and foremost she needs a man; second, understands the power of synergy in her relationship with her man and is learning to master the art and science of keeping her house.

What independent Ilene fails to understand is that when men think in terms of fun and play, she will fit the bill mainly because she can foot the bill. However, she is thrown off her square when men look for “wife material” and she is put to the side. Independent Ilene projects herself as above need of a man, yet a real man needs to be needed by “his woman,” is willing to man up, and not interested in an Independent Ilene wearing the pants that he was meant to wear, or being depowered or handicapped by a woman feeling the need to compete or step into his role as a man.

3. Religious Rhonda

Religious Rhonda is religious, but lacks spirituality. She is looking for Jesus incarnate and if Jesus were to knock on her door, he would not measure up to her standards either. Religious Rhonda is looking for a man who doesn’t exits. Religious Rhonda sits around complaining with her girlfriends who are “birds of a feather flocking together,” that there are no available “good” Black men because they are either in jail, in prison, homosexual or don’t want anything more in life. Religious Rhonda wants the man to put forth all efforts to make the relationship work and bring all his valuable attributes to the table, but unable to bring similar or of equal valuable attributes. Religious Rhonda wants the status, but fails to see the substance.

Religious Rhonda is related to Self-righteous Sally. As a matter of fact they are first cousins. When you see one you usually see the other as they are bosom buddies. They are either hating on other women who have a man wondering how they got him, or a constant third wheel. Black men run from the drama that comes with Religious Rhonda and Self-righteous Sally.

4. Demanding Deena

Demanding Deena is so hard to please that no matter what you do for her she is never satisfied. Demanding Deena does not realize the difference between demanding something with her mouth and commanding it with her actions. She has an attitude that she is owed something and everything must cease until her needs are met. Demanding Deena is very needy and believes that the source of her happiness lies in the hands of the man in her life. Her expectations of him are far above what is rational or even fair. There is no room for shortcomings as anyone she deals with must be on top of his game 100% of the time. Demanding Deena is argumentative, controlling, hard, and bossy. Men usually just want to do whatever they can to get away from a Demanding Deena; and Demanding Deena has not realized that men are not interested in a woman with more testosterone than him.

5. Loose Lucy

Every man knows that Loose Lucy gives up the “coochie.” It doesn’t matter whether he is worthy or not, Loose Lucy believes the only way to get or keep a man is to open her legs. She has an attitude that once she gives in to a man’s sexual advances, he is obligated to her. Loose Lucy does not respect herself and suffers from low self-esteem.

Some Loose Lucies will get pregnant in an attempt to entrap a man, believing that will make him stay. Loose Lucy will sleep with friends, brothers, and maybe even fathers, sons or cousins. Loose Lucy is desperate for a man and when she feels one will take the time to wine and dine her or pay her mind, she will bear it all for him believing that this time it’s the one. There are two types of women that men deal with, ones to have fun with and one to bring home to meet the parents. Loose Lucy is the “booty call” not the altar call.

This might sound crass. But there is a reason why some Black women do not have a man. And to the women who would much rather publicly degrade all or most of our brothers for their actual or perceived shortcomings, and deem them damaged beyond repair, you end up staying in a state of involuntary singleness or in relationships that are unfulfilling, because you are denying that you are in fact part of the problem.


While you may not be entirely the problem, you are however the key. Black women are the first teachers, the first nurses, the first nurturers in a man’s life. Therefore, if what you see is an undesirable Black man, then you owe it to yourself to help him meet his obligation as a man by being a better woman.

%d bloggers like this: